Fantastic, your offer letter will arrive shortly. When you come in on your first day get settled in your office. You know, look around, go through the drawers in the file cabinet, find where everything is. We'll set you up for lunch to make sure everything is going well. Welcome aboard!

This must be a script passed around like a scammy email chain to upper level execs - because I have personally heard it no less than 3 times in my career. Maybe I passed the litmus test and got those jobs precisely because I am a self starter, don't need hand holding and like to work independently. Maybe I was easy because I wear my Special Agent badge on my sleeve like a scarlet letter - less work than other candidates would have been had they been hired.

It's no way to intro someone to their job though.

Walk into said dark office early the first day after guestimating where to park because you wasn't assigned a spot yet. People looking at you like you broke in the joint because no one was told you were hired.. No PC log in, no phone extension, no key to your own desk drawer?

No welcoming committee... or card on the desk signed by the team saying they are grateful to have someone to pick up the work they have been burdened with since the last chicken flew the coop...

I'm looking for examples - both good and bad, for a presentation I'm writing this weekend for THE Conference on attracting and retaining top talent. What's your story?

Oh... and if you would like to come to THE Conference, a whole day of business learning and fun in Wilkes-Barre, PA, with 6 tracks and 30 sessions for $99. --> Sign up, what are you waiting for? ~ SA Porter


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