Guest Post by Peter Lanc @HRMexplorer
Wedding day blues and getting a job what’s the difference? Not a lot…. Aren’t we all looking for superior performance?
I was speaking to a friend recently who is getting married.
She asked how she could know what it would be like after got married. I told her it’s a bit like my recruiting job. The candidates look great but how can I know what are they really like?
It’s all good up until the day, kind of like a probationary period, but as they say current and past performance is no determination of future success!
That’s got us thinking, so off to the bar we went for cocktails to muse over this delicate topic. Over a few drinks we continued to ponder what would it be like to ask a soon to be spouse the following questions:
- How can I be sure that you are who you say you are and that you’ll stay that way?
- What will you be like when I am having a baby or mother in law troubles- will you stick around or move on?
- Will you always remain as a high performer or will you (like the Who tune) ffffffade away….
- How can I know you will treat my friends right even if you don’t like them and not have emotional outbursts and cause relationship problems?
- Will you continue to put me at the center of your world and not go off with your buddies all the time?
- Will you stay the course, not get bored and go somewhere else?
Oh and what about references!! That caused some chuckles I can tell you. Now would that not be something… Can you see their face when you say, “Give me 3 names of people who you have dated so I can check you out, I want to see how you were with them!!!”
Can you imagine the response? Well that’s not fair they will never give me a good reference because….. etc etc.
There were even more questions we thought of. Oh what fun we had, the more we had to drink the better and more incisive and personal the questions were that we came up with. Oh boy, well maybe some of us do this and some of us simply think it over cocktails, with our buddies and girlfriends.
I guess a job is a job yet it is much more and how many take the same time and thought over it as my friend who was getting married, and oh my those references!
Who would you not want your prospective employer to ask a reference of? Just think, who are we really and for how long? How many masks do we have and what shadow do we really cast? What are we really like? I mean really…
Its all so important, just like a marriage we have to be the right fit… all of the time!
Apr 05, 2010 at 3:38 PM
Great article. I think that if those questions were asked and honestly answered, there would be a lot less divorce.