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Having the willingness to do what it takes to get what you want

Apr 04, 2012 / Just Me / Trackback

Warn­ing: This is pure raw Karla edi­to­r­ial and com­men­tary. There will be no apolo­gies if you are offended because I’m OK los­ing a social media pal over this if it jars the sense into you even just a lit­tle bit…

In the past cou­ple of weeks I have been wit­ness to a heavy smat­ter­ing of sit­u­a­tions that lead me to believe many peo­ple have largely given up on strug­gling and fight­ing for what they really want and tak­ing respon­si­bil­ity for get­ting it. They seem quick to give inwhen some­thing is dif­fi­cult or appears even slightly out of reach.

Social inter­ac­tion and infor­ma­tion may have become ber acces­si­ble in the past decade and a half, but that doesn’t mean other aspects of ‘life’ have got­ten any eas­ier, and it cer­tainly hasn’t got­ten less expen­sive, less com­pet­i­tive, less polit­i­cal, less dan­ger­ous — which log­i­cally then would lean toward it has got­ten at least slightly more difficult.


Peo­ple have become bla­tant whiners.

They blame the treach­er­ous econ­omy on any­thing they can.

They have a sense of enti­tle­ment and want things handed to them — for free.

They con­fuse ‘self worth’ with ‘pay­check’, mis­tak­enly assess their income poten­tial as being much higher than it is in real­ity and refuse oppor­tu­nity when it hap­pens to not match their dis­torted notions.

They con­fuse ‘social networkingacquaintance’with BFF.

They give a whole lot of cre­dence to karma, faith and des­tiny, believe what is meant to be will be and they have lit­tle or no con­trol over it.

While whin­ing maybe cathar­tic is isn’t gen­er­ally pro­duc­tive except if you hap­pen to cor­ral an enabler or some­one who just can’t say ‘no’ who might give you a tem­po­rary fix; here’s some money, here’s a lead, here’s a favor — now please go away. It will likely never lead to a solu­tion in your life.

It’s debat­able whether the econ­omy has had more peaks or val­leys through­out recorded his­tory when you fac­tor in the fall of the Roman Empire, war, famine, plagues, nat­ural dis­as­ters, the inquisition,slavery, the great depres­sion, the holocaust,apartheid, ter­ror­ism, inequal­ity, lack of social justice,on and on. Makes this reces­sion­ary sit­u­a­tion we are crawl­ing out of a speed bump in the road of human­ity. Even the poor­est of us in the USA have means or access to them. Act­ing like the 2008 reces­sion is the end of the world is com­plete lack of per­spec­tive. Call me cold, but that means even in the face of unem­ploy­ment, low wages, home fore­clo­sure, vehi­clere­pos­ses­sion and taxes. What place will this period have in the his­tory of the future? It may not war­rant more than a cou­ple of sen­tences in a text book in 30 or 40 years.

Every­thing has a cost whether it’s in cur­rency, goods and ser­vices barter or time. Every­thing. Noth­ing is for free except birth and death. We inher­ited a nasty sys­tem per­pet­u­ated and bestowed upon us. Are you will­ing to sell some­thing on craigslist ore­Bayto have the money to buy the ticket to the con­fer­ence or net­work­ing event that could change your life? Are you will­ing to work two jobs to save for a down pay­ment? Will you curb your spend­ing habits to repair your FICA? Does the emerg­ing cul­ture of self grat­i­fi­ca­tion get in the way of sav­ing $2.50 per week to sock away $75 by Octo­ber? Can you do with­out in order to have or have you been falsely empow­ered by walk­ing away from debt you cre­ated? Are you will­ing to break a sweat vol­un­teer­ing or giv­ing away infor­ma­tion in order to be rec­og­nized as a great can­di­date or are youro­bot­i­cal­lyjust flood­ing cyber­space with your resum for the umpteenth time?

Peo­ple con­fuse cost of liv­ing + dis­cre­tionary cash wants with salary require­ments, while mar­ketable skills + sup­ply and demand +orga­ni­za­tion­al­bud­get deter­mine salary offers. ‘I am there­fore I deserve X” is not a formula.

Do you feel like you’ve never had so many friends before? It seems we are­al­ways­busy face­book­ing, tweet­ing, IMing, email­ing, G+ing, Flick­ring, Tum­blring, tex­ting and some­times even call­ing peo­ple.. It’s a mind game. They are not all your friends. Until a real rap­port and a work­ing rela­tion­ship is built with con­fi­dence, breath and width, they are acquain­tances. Don’t lose per­spec­tive and devi­ate your pri­or­i­ties to make me or any­one else you know inti­mately by icon only more impor­tant than things and peo­ple that really are impor­tant — it’s a really dumb mistake.

Take a deep breath and stretch… feel your mus­cles, the air in your lungs, the thoughts in your mind, the saliva in your mouth, the urine in your blad­der.. now pinch your self. You are in the here and now — unless we are in The Matrix of course.My advice is to relin­quish real belief in the super­nat­ural (let’s com­pro­mise; you can keep the time hon­ored hokey tra­di­tions if you want) and accept that the law of cause and effect states that every action causes a reac­tion, which, in turn, is itself an action that causes other reac­tions, and so on. Every­thing we do sets off a chain of events that extends far beyond our con­trol. Within this process, neg­a­tives seem to per­pet­u­ate neg­a­tives, while pos­i­tive actions seem to set off pos­i­tive chains of reaction.

These are few things in life we don’t con­trol — granted the ones we don’t are big­gies; we don’t con­trol our birth or the body or mind we are born with orchron­i­cor ter­mi­nal ill­ness, with some excep­tion the cir­cum­stances and tim­ing of our death, and we indi­rectly may influ­ence some nat­ural dis­as­ters. Other than that we run the show.….…… make it an Oscar win­ner or a comic tragedy — the beauty is that you get to choose.

It requires great tenac­ity and grow­ing a set (no need to explain right?) to get what you want. You must be dri­ven and will­ing to take cal­cu­lated risk. If none of that sounds like you, expect to be left behind waft­ing around like a dust bunny on a breezy day that gets stepped on a lot and even­tu­ally lands in a cor­ner somewhere.

Karla Porter
Karla Porter

Joan - Glad you visited. Sometimes I don't like when they end either... makes me think about writing a book(s).

Joan Logie
Joan Logie

Kala, interesting perspective as usual. I haven't read your blog in a # of months. Your writing skills are impressive. I stayed engaged in the article and was a little disappointed to come to the end. Look forward to the next one.

Karla Porter
Karla Porter

Doug - 'Increasingly entitlement driven' is right on, one of the side effects of being conditioned by instant connectivity and access in the digital world.

Doug Hertel
Doug Hertel

Karla, as always, I admire your courage to share your thoughts that may not be embraced by all who read your work. I would agree that we live in a world that is increasingly entitlement-driven and where people judge success by appearance and materialism. It's the "Reality TV" or "American Idol" effect -- where we believe that we can become a star "overnight" rather than sacrificing and working hard for years to achieve a dream.

Karla Porter
Karla Porter

Melissa - The complacency you speak of is very interesting. We don't like change, change is hard and often very painful. We are amazingly adaptable and have exceptional survival skills. If someone is 'happy' with their life - no matter what the conditions for them are, living in a tent, no discretionary income, no goals - then I am happy for them, we get to choose how we want to live. It's probable this is an attitude epidemic and that even if whiners won the lottery they wouldn't stop whining. It's a characteristic. Sad one at that. I know unhappy people at every level of the economic strata. Healthy self-esteem, good decision making skills, introspection, a vision and positive attitude sail the human vessel.


Hi Karla, Nice blog post. I couldn't agree with you more. I see a lot of people who are perfectly happy whining and complaining but then do nothing to change their situation. I am particularly frightened by the inability of people to question themselves or how their own actions contributed to the problems in their lives. If you don't understand how you got there how do you expect to get out ? I've said this many times on my own blog: put down the game controller, stop facebooking and tweeting and go out and DO SOMETHING: read a book, educate yourself, talk to people IRL. Anything but sit there and continue doing the same crap you are doing now.